So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

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Hello everyone, if you couldnt tell, the most popular joke was removed because it wasnt even an antijoke, if you have a joke that isnt an antijoke, post it somewhere else, if you dont know what an antijoke even is then get the f*ck out, thumbs up if you agree with me

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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Knock, Knock Who's there ? So So who? No, So Lee

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Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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