Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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Brad Fuller!

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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