What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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