Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

thumb_up thumb_down +201

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +149

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

thumb_up thumb_down +83

What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops