A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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385

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Miley Cyrus.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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