Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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