what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

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Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

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Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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whats good about poland... fukk all

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops