What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

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Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

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why did ryan go to bed? because he is a growing boy and need it to keep in line for his study's i lied about him sleeping hes dead he was abducted

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

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What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

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If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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your no better than a cockroach

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

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Whats black and red inside? A black guy

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Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: It depends who is the owner of the car. .

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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Your mama is so fat that when she farted she called it global warming

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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