If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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what smells worse then shit Drew White

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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