"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

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This joke is funny

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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Wigan.

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What's sad about four black people going over in a cliff in Cadillac? It was my Cadillac.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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women's rights

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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Illumati Confirmed

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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What do you call a black pilot? A niigger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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