I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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Samraj.

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A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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