A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

What's brown and sticky? A Stick

Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

What did the german get for christmas? an Easy-Bake oven and a G.I. Jew

Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

A hitman and his target walked in the same bar togather what happend? nothing because a hitman has better things to do and the target would lay low.

what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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