I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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women's rights.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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