The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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Once upon a time, The end.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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Health food.

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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How much Is a free app on my market?

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to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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Poop

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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