Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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Jimmy Saville

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

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sdasdadasdasd

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Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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joke hahhahahah where did u find that joke, on the internet

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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a man walks into a bar he got hurt

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What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops