Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops