What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

hi mom

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Chinese kid fails his math test.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What worse than the holocaust? Danny's.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why was the boy sad He had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops