What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a fictional superhero and a black man is an ordinary man of African descent.

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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Hi

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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Reverse psychology never fails.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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