- Anti Joke

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

Why did chuck Norris take his friends to the buffet? Because buffets are great social conventions due to the allowance of sharing social favors while grabbing a succulent meal. Visit golden corral today.

A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

im watching you..

What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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