Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Sac

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Penis

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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TWIX PAUSE!

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops