Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Whats worse then getting caught in the rain with no umbrella? Aids.

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Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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You

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercorse? I have aids

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

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Tim and Eric

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

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Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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