Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

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You're welcome!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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this kid named terry stockton lives in craig beach ohio is gay

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

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whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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Black People.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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