(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Heartlight

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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Woman Rights

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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