Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black and has been free since the 1700's? What? I don't know, i was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops