Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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irish wristwatch JLR

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

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OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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a jewish man walks down the street a hispanic man walks down the street a black man walks down the street an irish man walks down the street and into a pub

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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