Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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What is big, white and hairy A refrigerator, I lied about the hair

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

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Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the situation -Tag

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

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Worst joke ever

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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Breast cancer.

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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