What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

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Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

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How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

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What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

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Q. What is black and nobody cares when they step on it? A. Asphalt

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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Why did the imagrint cross the road? Cuz he stole the chickin's job.

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

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Fiats

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops