How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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your mum

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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meme

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shut up iggy

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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