Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jews

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

eloise dey.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops