Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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womens rights

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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