Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

Woman Rights

What is brown and sticky? A stick

Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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