what did one tree say to the other? move over

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

heres a funny joke your momas so fat............

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Life is an elephant, get married.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jewwy Jewstein

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the computer crash? it didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

MAGHBERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Rick Santorum 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops