A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

DIY LOLOBJECTIFACEPASSED OUT PHOTOSRATE MY EX GIRLFRIENDREPUBLICAN EQUALSSCUMBAG STEVE CHECK OUT OUR IPHONE APP! POPULAR NEWEST RANDOM WRITE YOUR OWN! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Your Answer I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! Pictures From Our Other Sites OBJECTIFACE SHIT BRIX JAPAN IS WEIRD SPOILED PHOTOS RATE MY BATTLESTATION TATTOO FAILURE Quotes From Other Sites “Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?.” via: Anti-Pickup Line “On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to....” via: Clarksonisms “Flavorless jelly beans...” via: Pointless Inventions “the power to glow fainlty in broad daylight.” via: Pointless Super Powers “When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I....” via: Things You Think Only You Do “Why did the blonde drown in the pool? Because a person tied an anvil to her leg and dropped it in the deep end of....” via: ethugtxt Anti-Pickup LineClarksonismsethugtxtPointless InventionsPointless Super Powers Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2011 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Rails Hosting provided by BlueBox

WNBA

your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

My friend harris is fat.

is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

Roses are red Violets are blue your mum is fat and so are you

What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...