What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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why do i love my iphone because its a very versatile electronic device with many uses and i can get the anti-joke app

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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Today is May 18 2016.

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I used to make jokes about taking arrows to the knee then i beat the game

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

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I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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What's worse than reading a bad joke Realizing it's yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops