What looks like a dick? A penis

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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My tractor broke down.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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What's worse than being a jew in the holocaust Being born black

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Selena Gomez

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

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What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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