What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF What's white and fluffy? A BUNNY What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF What's brown and fluffy? A PORCUPINE

what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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