7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

YOUR MOM JOKES ARE SO OLD because the last time i herd a ur mom joke i fell off my dinosaur...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Gays

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A deaf, mute clown wearing nothing but a dead cat, a rainbow wig, and his own feces breaks into a couples home on April fools day. Then he murders them both because he is an escaped patient from an asylum for the criminally insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into town and takes a shit!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you do if you really really hate someone? You kill them. HEEE HEEE! by drew and jubie

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between erotica and kink? Erotica involves simple arousal; kink usually has an added element of masochism.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I'm sorry your brother died

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is the science of classifying living things? Racism...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I Stumbled this site and then read some antijokes, then I wrote a antijoke but I couldn't write a antijoke because their Terms of Service were down so then I lied to them saying I've read their Terms of Serivce and then I lied again, told them I were human, argued by saying "barnote plate" to them. They accepted.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

thumb_up thumb_down -49

whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +52

why was there a man outside the 56th floor window? he was a window washer and needed the money.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops