How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

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Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

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What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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buttcrack thumbs up

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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