When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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Society.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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George Bush.

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops