wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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My Joke Is The Persons Below Me I I V

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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Whats worse then this joke? Its punchline.

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Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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The Irish man was sober.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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knock knock go away ok

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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