How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

*you're

Why did the chicken cross the road?

What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

Roses are red voilets are blue,you are gay so fuck you,!

Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

kiss me?

What did the man say when he saw a truck in his yard? There's a truck in my yard.

Knock Knock It's Open!

Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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