What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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A blind man walks into a bar

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

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25

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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