Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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