What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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This is not Will Smith.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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Dead babies.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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Obamacare!

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops