A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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go go gadget

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Penis

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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