The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

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...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................a gay baby was just born.

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arse

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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To whomever it may concern, You are currently reading this anonymous letter from someone anonymous. I’m currently watching you read this letter. I am not a threat. I am not Big Brother. I am someone anonymous. You will never find out who I am. You may have a few ideas of who this might be, but you will be wrong. Just know that I am watching you. That is all. I love you. All for Jesus -A

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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