Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops