Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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