Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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What is the difference between a white gut and a black guy? The level of melanin in their skin.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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