Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Q:Who has the highest K/D ratio in Call of Duty World at War A: Hitler, 6000000/1

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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